Teaching What I Know
I can't fake it.
I found the Enneagram when I was totally out of whack with my own intuition. I had made it through college and most of the way through graduate school, and I was terrified of what life had in store for me.
I didn't trust myself and I couldn't fake it til I made it, whatever that means. I was struggling with my role as a child and family therapist, riddled with guilt about my privilege and convinced I was doing loads of harm. It didn’t matter what anyone else said to try to encourage me - I felt totally lost.
For someone who was often lauded as being pretty self-aware, I had no idea who I was, what I wanted to do, or why.
With a lot of support, including insights I gathered through the Enneagram, I slowly got back on track, taking time to reset, and trying on a few different jobs and volunteer positions in the field of social work before ultimately birthing my coaching business.
It took over two and a half years of working with the Enneagram in therapy and on my own (through loads of podcasts, books, and videos) before I voiced that this was something I wanted to do professionally.
I knew if I wanted to do this work with others I would have to fully embrace my own work, so after following their podcast for quite a while and feeling out their intersectional and nonreligious approach, I reached out to a legitimate Enneagram coach. They pointed out the clarity I came in with and encouraged me to take my next steps.
A year and a half ago, in February 2020 - when the world looked a whole lot different - I applied for continuing education funding through my work and flew down to California to spend 6 days immersed in the Enneagram as part of The Narrative Enneagram's training program.
I thought I was going so that I could better understand all the other types (I knew my own pretty well, I thought) and that would make me a better partner, friend, employee, educator, mentor, counselor, etc.
What I got was an actual felt experience of my own personality structure: my fears, doubts, the ways control and my defenses operate within me.
It cracked me open.
I cried in front of 45 people who, days before, had been strangers. I got to know people on a deeper level than I ever had so quickly and they shone a light on people in my own life who weren’t even there. I spent time in community and in solitude.
Guided by teachers who had been doing this work for decades, I made contact with my body, heart, and mind in ways that I had only read about.
My pain was held. It was a sacred experience.
Assuming all goes well, I will be a Certified Narrative Enneagram Teacher by the end of the summer. But I know this is only the beginning.
Before I ever considered offering this program, I wanted to be sure I was walking the walk myself. I have known that I want to teach this stuff, but having integrity in this work to me means I also have to live it.
So I enrolled in A Year-Long Enneagram Certification Program in Conscious Living with Russ Hudson and Jessica Dibb, where every week for the past several months I have been absorbing the transmitted wisdom of these experienced teachers, doing daily practices, integrating the material into my own life, and connecting about the mess of the process in my smaller group.
To be honest, it's making me question if I know anything at all. But my intellectual understanding of the Dunning-Kruger effect along with the feedback I have been getting from my Enneagram panels, coaching conversations, fellow Enneagram nerds, close relationships, and the results I'm seeing in my own life and business, tells me that while I still have a lot to learn, I also have a lot to offer.
And I'll tell you all - I am so freaking excited and curious to see how this all unfolds.
In my Applied Enneagram Group Coaching program, a small group of us will explore our relationships with various aspects of ourselves through the lens of the Enneagram. Specifically, we're going to look at the three Centers of Intelligence and the three Instinctual Drives. Each week, I'll share teachings, lead activities and practices, and we will all get to connect with and learn from others who are wanting to build better relationships with all parts of ourselves. Plus, participants will get a private coaching session to support growth in the way that’s most relevant to them.
Over the next few weeks, I'll be sharing tidbits of these teachings so everyone can start to develop better self-relationships, even if you can’t join the group.
You can find all the details about the program and apply to be part of it here: https://www.carynberley.com/applied-enneagram-group-coaching
And be sure to apply by September 1st for an extra $50 discount.
Applied Enneagram Group Coaching
With Love,
~Caryn
For Reflection
Take these questions to your journal, your next deep conversation, your therapist, coach or counselor, or simply ponder them throughout the upcoming week.
What in your life are you so passionate about that it makes you want to walk your talk?
When have you thought you were an imposter only to realize you knew more than you think?
When have you dismissed chances to learn more because you thought you already knew everything?
Who have been the influential forces in your life supporting you in realizing your dreams?
