My Word for 2022
The word that came to me for this year scares me a bit.
That’s part of how I know it’s my word.
I was curious about whether and how I might select a word for this year. I started by thinking about what I want for myself this year; an intention or a nudge to the universe to declare where I’d like life to take me. We have long been cautioned to be careful what we wish for, and I’ve heard some prime examples of this when it comes to choosing a word - how people have been given ample, and often deeply uncomfortable, opportunities to live into their words.
Last year my word was “bloom” and it led me to launch a business where my colors were put on display in a way they never have been before. I felt like I was in full bloom over the summer and basked in the glory of being seen for the beauty I offered the world. I shared my gifts, facilitated learning, and connected with my first clients. I also launched the Enneagram Typecast, where my voice is on display for anyone to hear.
But after flowers bloom, they tend to dry up and wilt. They send all their energy to the bloom and once it’s over, they need to recuperate and direct their energy to their pups - the offshoots that may grow into their own plant one day. [Not much of a gardener myself, I just learned this term - “flower pups” - and I am laughing to myself because at the end of the summer I adopted a puppy and shifted some of my focus to her.]
As the fall hit and new COVID variants appeared, my inner work continued asking me to deepen, but it was hard for me to focus because I felt like my petals were falling off. I constantly felt like I wasn’t producing enough and thus like I was failing. I still wanted to be in bloom - an ever-bloom of some kind. Although the natural world reminds us that these cycles are perfectly normal, the conditioned part of me slid down the slippery slope of comparison, shame, and doubt. I felt like I was never doing enough.
While I tried to think of what I wanted to create for myself this year, I mostly noticed what I felt was lacking. I longed for a sustainable influx of paid word, more joyful and playful connection with friends, and trust and empowerment in my commitment to my business and my path. From the place I was in at the end of the year, I didn’t know how this all was possible. Worries about setting the bar too high surfaced. I can’t predict what this year will bring. What if I choose a word and it doesn’t happen? Letting my word be fueled by anxiety or setting a low bar I could certainly achieve didn’t feel good either.
A couple of days before the new year, I listened to a podcast about allowing your word to arise from deep within you instead of creating it. At first, my fear peaked. What if nothing comes? I breathed through it and just set the intention to listen. And lo and behold, my word started to form:
Looking deeper into myself…
An image of how much I’ve written in my journals that I haven’t touched up or shared…
Mining my own being for information instead of looking outside myself so much…
”Mining” isn’t quite the right word…
…
…
Excavate.
Excavate. v. to expose or lay bare by or as if by digging; unearth
My word for 2022 is excavate. It means “to expose or lay bare by or as if by digging” or “remove earth carefully and systematically from (an area) in order to find buried remains.”
As the word came forth, I imagined my body as a cave. Many parts were cut off from sunlight, damp and growing all sorts of simplistic life forms that can only survive in the dark. My conditioned beliefs that fester and create toxicity in my being.
I thought of a construction site, where in the process of laying a new foundation - or perhaps designing a beautifully landscaped terrace - the first step is to clear the surface. Then using the right tools to break ground, cracking through the hardened earth to loosen the soil below. Getting underneath the exterior to the soft and fertile elements that have the potential to create a new, well-nourished foundation.
I remembered an archaeology class I took in college where we learned that items found closer to the surface aren’t necessarily more recent - that the most useful tools would be reused over time. My defense strategies, crafted long ago, always lingering close to the surface, still utilized often.
An Ohio-based industrial engineering company’s blog tells me: “Excavation has several critical purposes, including exploration, environmental restoration, mining, and construction.”
Excavation for me means allowing myself to explore what’s below the surface, contact deeper parts of myself in order to mine the gold, restore and update what’s rotten, and lay a new foundation to construct something even more solid than before, which will one day need to be torn down and excavated again.
It does NOT mean using brute force, constant digging, or an urgent desire to overhaul the old environment and manufacture something more shiny. Rather, excavation for me means granting myself permission to move forward with the process that will undoubtedly disturb some of the ecological makeup of my life while creating opportunities for something new to be constructed.
Excavation is part of my own inner work and an important element of my coaching conversations. It’s not always comfortable to break internal ground, but the work I do doesn’t involve any literal or metaphorical bulldozers. We start with gathering the necessary permits, surveying the space, and clearing debris before we dig in. We use tools that honor the ecology of the person’s life and do some cost-benefit analysis. And as we go, shining a light on what’s been growing, it becomes clearer which life forms are getting more than their share of the limited light available, which roots are ready to be dug up, and what is aching to be replanted.
If you’re looking to do some excavation of your own, I’m inviting 20 individuals to take a closer look at their internal landscapes through my Wake Up & Dream Project which runs from February 1st to April 1st. In 90 minutes, we’ll dig into what you’ve been waking up to. Then we’ll use what we find as a foundation for dreaming about what’s possible.
With Love,
~Caryn
For Reflection
Take these questions to your journal, your next deep conversation, your therapist, coach or counselor, or simply ponder them throughout the upcoming week.
When you listen deep within yourself, what word(s) or theme(s) are emerging for this year or this phase of your life?
What images, metaphors, or ideas come to you when you consider this word or theme?
What have you been exploring or excavating in yourself life lately?
How has your process up until now opened up new ideas about what is possible for your life?
